Notions (Not marrying a pastor)

I saw one post like that, asking why you won't marry a pastor. Me sef, I won't even marry a chorister, an usher or anyone active in church departments. Infact, if you are going for any service apart from Sunday Sunday medicine, I no dey marry.

Preferably, I wouldn't like to marry a church goer oo. Anaghị dị m ezo ọnụ ekwu ya. But if you really want to worship your maker, then Sunday is fine.

Here are a couple of reasons I don't wanna.

1. I don't go to church (I do it now unwillingly cos I no get my own house but in school, I no dey step foot for church)

2. I cuss faster than a sailor - so I am uncouth and vulgar, not something Church mommy should be.

3. I don't believe many things in the Bible. Imagine me teaching young ladies Proverbs 31 or Ist Timothy 2 vs 12. I'll even cuss in that meeting before I am done.

4. I don't believe in Hell, so I won't even scare anyone with repenting or they are damned to hell. How do I feel about death and afterlife?

You know that feeling when you are asleep? Well, you don't actually know, your consciousness is not there. That's how I view death would be. Everlasting sleep, without my knowledge of anything, dazzol.

5. I hate Paul in the Bible, and most epistles there are his. How will I keep a straight face and teach it?

6. I don't believe in submission or whatever that is. Them never born man wey go preach or impose that nonsense on my head. I don take order plenty places for man at home to add his own.

7. I cannot comman be going to church on Saturdays for clean-up, when I am planning on outsourcing many times in my own home, ya foduzie outside. Or any of these organisational meetings and functions headed by Church Mummy.

8. I cringe any time I hear that Mummy this, mummy that they call pastor's wife. Ọ na-awụ m akpata oyi. I no wan mummy anyone.

9. I want the knowledge that I have the liberty to dress at will. I'll probably not be wilding in my attires, but I don't want the church pedestal to prevent me if I want to try.

10. I will never pray anything more than a few minutes. There's no way a church mummy cannot Kabash for 6-12 hours straight, I fittn't.

10. I view organised Religion as a joke, something that should be done away with. It has overstayed it's relevance tbvh.

11. I don't do tithing and I don't want to extort other people masking it under God's instructions. Na legalised Yahoo Yahoo be that.

12. I am a LGBTQIA+ ally. I am female so I understand the quest for equality in the society, so I have empathy for their struggle for acceptance. I can't open mouth and quote Paul again on their matter.

13. I don't think Rapture will ever happen. People will all die and that's it.

14. I just do not like church.

With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince and not confuse you that's it's not a personal vendetta against the pastor but the institution called Church.

Gimme an Aminu Garba (he's a character in *The Men's Club* ) and I am satisfied.

Ngwanụ.