Notions (Beauty)

Let's back up a bit to a conversation so trite - Beauty. How can you as a woman still struggle with beauty? Where does the insecurity stem from? Is it that parents failed to compliment you with beauty or that they constantly called you ugly all of your life? Or because you can't seem to enjoy the supposed privilege they said beautiful ones get? Or is it the male gaze - the sheer fact that you aren't an ideal standard of beauty (ditto Nengi) and so aren't getting enough fawning over?

You know those stories where the abuser keeps panel-beating the lady but the girl remains and the only reason for that is her insisting that he's the only one (or first one) who ever told her that she's beautiful, that she's always thought she's an ugly swan. The girl in question will probably rival Erica in beauty but shockingly, they aren't aware. Leaves me gobsmacked all the time.

I might come off as ignorant and insensitive, not understanding why some ladies start 

tripping because you're told "you are a beautiful woman." I understand "Love Languages - the words of affirmation" but you gaht to show yourself your love language first before being dependent on another to state the obvious.

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Like... Don't you look into the mirror everyday to see fineness? You see yourself finish from head and toe and have no inkling as to how attractive you possibly are? Really?  

You've never finished dressing up, looking peng and said to yourself in the mirror, "Oh my God! You have no right to be this beautiful!" Seriously? 

Chai, Pele oo. You've been missing out a whole lot!

Take myself for instance. My most frequent app is gallery and it's not even because of videos, I view my pictures many times than I can count. I can't deceive myself that I am the most beautiful girl in the world, but I am very much aware that I'm a fine-ass female. Ain't nobody telling me otherwise. And I've known this as far back as I've discovered the concept of beauty. Even, I think this now that I haven't even begun better skin care routine.

Sometimes, I think myself vain whenever I stare into the mirror and dwell on the qualities I find attractive on myself. At times sef, I'd admire me so much, legs especially and chide myself for that. Get a tad pessimistic on what I'd do if it gets amputated,  pimples suddenly start sprouting on my face, or I have a burn on my skin! I appreciate my features first (same way I criticise my errors first). 

Learn to do that darling, find your best features and augment that part of your body. You don't know how much of an esteem boost it is - the dose of confidence it'll give you is outta this world.

Meanwhile, I adore these pictures. I don't know why, it's not even my most perfect pictures I have taken but I love the posture and how the body profile came out so much. I really want to be this slim when I am much older, Amen? Amen!