Notions (Fear)

The beautiful thing about art is that it makes you feel the pain, angst, bitterness, anger and even revenge of the main character.

I just finished Women Point Zero by Nawal El Saadawi. The character, Firdaus had experienced a load of abuse, disrespect, contempt because of her gender. It's no surprise because the book is set in a Muslim country and even the author herself was imprisoned at some point because of her vocalisation of the injustice against her gender.

I got a couple of lessons from the book:

Live above fear and live your authentic truth, that's just it. Live your truth regardless of what anybody is dictating should be the ideal. 

No-one else has the formula to what is respectful or not and the world is not black and white. The gray areas always suffices in most situations. 

So your idea of courteousness might not be applicable to the other person, because of circumstances which said person had absolutely no control over.

Granted, Firdaus is a prostitute but her decision to place herself on a high pedestal distinguishes her. Her circumstances were what made her abhor the male gender: her uncle raped her consistently as a child, her uncle married her off to a man over 40 years her senior, a supposed high religious sheikh who in turn physically abused her at every turn.

She did run away, but the other men she saw on the road wasn't much better. They all took advantage of her at one point, going physical most times.

 Now you might be wondering why she didn't find a payable job, but note that she's got an O'level in a country that only ever sees all a woman can be as marriage. A society where your worth is less than an animal.

Thus, she created the niche for herself. She said something that struck me, "that all women are prostitutes, that married ones are those that get the least payment" 

Even with the creation of her niche, she hadn't ever broken free as she had thought. More advances came from pimps, and the sad thing is that "prostitution is a crime for females in that society while the males go scout free", hence the threats from the pimp.

And yep, she killed him, funny enough I was rooting for her to just kill off the asshole. In the face of her crime, she walked head high, to her death. She had no desire to live when the criminals who had killed her essence still thrives without reproach or detainment.

You can imagine the reality of someone who had come to that conclusion. That she had so much overcome fear, that she preferred to damn the consequences and be really free of the confinements that her society had foisted on her, just by the virtue of being a woman.

The truth is that, in the modern world we live in, we are shackled at a point. Just as in Firdaus case, her's is a culture that is deeply rooted in religion. The Nigerian society is not better off, We are confined by the doctrines, made by men, might I add instead of seeking spirituality to connect us to our creator.

We strive so hard to an institution that continuously milks us of all sense or reasoning, that binds us to fear should we not adhere to it, a system that tells you not to question anything, just follow strictly because of repercussions or whatnots. The medium is used to control humans and rid them of all common sense.

For my gender, an institution that subdues  you and a society that has a blueprint that you should follow, even when you know that you can be more, when you are aware that there's no archetype to it.

There are enablers, to this injustice. In Firdaus case, it was her aunt, who instead of advising her to rid herself of the husband who hit her, admonished her by stating that her own husband beats her.

Another example is the woman who actually introduced her to prostitution, someone who came in guise of aiding Firdaus but in reality, was using her as a front for making money.

Such women exist in the society. Some of them are men too, those that will tell you, "Eeh, at the end of the day, you are still a woman and bla bla bla"

Remember to pay no heed to them, they are not worth it in this age, neither do their opinion matter.

I'm sticking with Firdaus, by being free and getting rid of fear. At this point in my life, I'll agree that I've not gotten there yet, but I'm working on it. I've transcended above that fear to a tremendous effort and I pray y'all do the same.

Happy New Month!