Notion xi

Illness. People don't really know how fortunate they are when they are healthy, like being whole. You don't know how fortunate you are to hold your phone and be reading this

I was at a hospital today, to visit a woman. She had fibroid and was operated upon. Unfortunately, she started bleeding so she needs pints of blood to replenish those that were lost. A beautiful woman, she's probably a mother. All these women who would probably intimidate you with poshness if you see them on the road.

She was complaining, of excruciating pain. She was seated when I arrived. She said to help her lie down on a bed she was seating. She couldn't do it alone, couldn't move her leg. Her stomach was somewhat protruded a bit, she kept complaining of stomach pain. She didn't even care her wrapper was practically falling off.

She was looking for blood, still looking for blood. She had been bleeding since October after her operation. Something probably went wrong. She had already gotten from 2 different people, she needs more. Her body was practically shaking. I think she was charged up to a million. I overheard her call.

I was so shocked, so sad. That something which seemed mundane like getting up is war for people. Ive always heard stories, but never seen it with my eyes. We take things for granted, like health. Yet we complain of frivolities like lack of money, lack of friends, failure of our dreams when health is extremely important.

I look at her, and I see my mother. She had fibroid too, like a decade ago. She was in pains like that too, but I didn't know. I was just 9 years old. I was throwing tantrums about buying groundnut, she personally writing my name on my exercise book and shit, while she was in such pains. I didn't visit her enough when she was in hospital, I was just living without a care. When she was sent on a bed rest at home and was always spitting constantly in a bucket by her bedside cos of her illness, I felt it was such a duty to be changing the water.

Now, I feel like a fool. If I were to go back to that time, I'll practically live in the hospital. This woman is lonely here. She called someone, a family member maybe to come see her, the person was busy at Enugu. She was practically begging for him to come, I don't think he would. He cut the call.

I remember being told to visit my mom at the hospital, I said to forget cos my hatred of going out, that she would be coming back soon. She died 3 days later. I remember her coming back the week before to see us. She said she had the feeling to just see us, I was like she was wasting her strength. I was busy preparing for Anglican Children Ministry, I didn't hug her enough. She kept smiling and waving at me. That was the last time I saw her.

I wanted to tell her about my mother, but didn't. I'm sure she would have asked me if she survived, I didn't want to kill her spirit and say my mother didn't. She seemed optimistic about her survival. She kept declaring in affirmation of her survival, I kept answering Amen. I hope she lives, she looks young. I'm not sure she is up to 45 or even 40.

Really, we who are somewhat whole, do not know what we have. Health is a gift, don't joke with it. Phewwwww.....