Film Review - Lion Heart (Obi-Agụ)

In a normal NIGERIA movie, Nkem Owoh would have gone back to his brother's office to out nsi For him so that he wouldn't recover. The soundtrack to that would have been ridiculous "tu, tu nu nu" (you know the rest)

The poison would have shot straight to his heart while he was in bed rest
Onyeka Onwenu would have come out screaming "MY HUSBAND, MY HUSBAND" while cradling him without any effort to deal with it till he dies

Nkem Owoh the Supposed culprit would also be out shedding tears, saying that His Brother, ODOGWU had left the world to soon

He would have taken over the company completely and dragged it to the mud. Maybe be would have been in cohorts with Kanayo O Kanayo

Kanayo O Kanayo, would have been summoned to occult with red and black clothing calling "LIONHEART MOTORS* to face the bankruptcy

I can't believe our movies depict that rubbish. We never see movies of shrewd business men like Kanayo who are ruthless and aren't cultists till Lionheart

Genevieve Nnaji would have had a less ambitious boyfriend who doesn't like her ambitions and would have told her to choose between her career or him which she would finally abandon her career to go live in a thatched house with him cos of Love

Her mother in the film would have been reminding her to get married before she gets old. Infact, Osuọfia would be degrading her instead if helping liek he's supposed to. He would be giving her nonsense advice

Phyno would have been told to man up and take the company from the sister and leave Music. That a woman can't lead the company and he should to preserve the family name even though he doesn't have interest in business

The characters would have been speaking ridiculous accents and acting like foreigners in mannerism even though they are supposedly born and bred in Nigeria

Adaeze's name would have been Toyosi while his same parents Brothers name might be Obiora

Adaeze would have been continuously shunned by BODs whenever she tries to make a decision cos she is a lady. And her Junior colleagues might have been disrespectful to her in their professional life because she is a lady

The whole movie soundtrack would have been something like "Ụwa, ọ bụ mụ na onye". Though the characters are speaking one posh English like that

Then later, a man if God will come pray ooo, and madness will catch Osuọfia and Kanayo and they run mad, sprout out white shit from their mouth, confess to their sins and start wandering naked

Phyno will now come to his senses, abandon his passion and take know the company. God, see what Nollywood did to our brain. How in the Cosmos do we come to this?

The dressing, aah the dressing. Starting from Ishi-agu to the native Igbo caps we know. Genevieve even had her natural hair on and face devoid of makeup ( not that makeup is bad, but you get my drift.) The movie is totally African, Igbo to be precise. If Lionheart is not Igbo, I don't know what else to make of it

I don't care if I'm hyping the film. It fucking deserves the hype, the accolades. Any director or screenwriter should watch the movie as a course (Introduction to Movie 101) before embarking on writing any shit as script

My woman Genevieve, you are a legend. Gosh, I'm still in awe of you. You Rock Ma'am, You fucking rock. I throway cap for ya

Did I mention it was released on Netflix, the first African movie to be there. So yeah, my woman is going global as a director ( she is already global as an actress). People like her give me hope, breaking away from dogmas, stereotypes, expectations from society, non-conforming to any thing. My Woman, My Everything. You are *#OBIAGU*