Notions (Musings)

Firstly,
I am not a rich kid
My family are living on average
I very much cannot afford some certain things that I would have loved to!

But it's okay
It's some sort of motivation
To know that I should hustle and make something for myself

Although I talk about tryna doing something for myself, it's difficult when I have not found something to do!

People tell me that I should be a writer
But it's difficult knowing fully well that I am not a fiction writer
As of the moment, I cannot imagine a fictional character and flaws to save my life

My vocabulary aren't even that developed
I still struggle over some words
It's hard when you know you are searching for something but you don't know what it is

Arguably, when I speak
People claim I use big English
Mayhaps, it is the intonation I have made out for myself

Regardless, I am not where I want to be
I have not done much with my life
Though I'm still 19, but time isn't necessarily by my side.

I don't even know what to call what I am writing
But still, I am just letting it out

On the issue of passion,
I have read that at times, we should let something that is profitable to be a passion
It doesn't make sense that if ones loves poetry, so much that s/he should give up everything for it
Especially if the person resides in Nigeria
Where there is little or no appreciation for the talent

Whilst one is thinking of life, it is important to note that passion is highly affected by location
Not just passion per say
But the will to persevere

If one starts now till tomorrow to complain about Nigeria, it doesn't help
Cos feeding the negative aspects of our lives only fuels more negative results

Which brings me back to my earlier statement
I am not a rich kid
But I try hard not to think of my family situation
Maybe, I am living an illusion thinking that everything is alright
But better not to confess everyday that I am poor
That using ones mouth to continue declaring poverty

I am not rich
It is at the back of my mind
My motivation for life is that I don't want to remain in that situation in which I was born into

Its not my fault that I was born into our scenario
But it will damn well be my fault if I remain in my circumstances and give a child same upbringing that I was exposed to